The Dentist From The Netherworld
by Creativist
Summary: Laharl goes to the dentist.... that alone should be enough feedback for you.


Disclaimer: I do not own Disgaea or anything of the sort of Nippon Ichi software, and for that, I take my pain out on Laharl.

* * *

Seated amongst his high throne in the throne room, where fire springs from its geezers, is prince Laharl(fledgling Overlord). An orchestra of flat-chested star mages recite the Hymn of Lord Laharl on the sides and brawny muscle-bound Masters of Wushu stand guard of each exit and entrance of his magnificent Throne room and throne. His power and brillance know no limits and through the entire netherworld his subjects praise and fear the all-mighty (Neophyte)Overlord, putting even the warrior maiden in her place and making her the lead vocalist in his magnificent Hymn. 

"Good god," Kekejina, a former Shogun and now-made doctor, finishes her inspection of Laharl's horrible mouth and snaps her medical mirror closed " I haven't seen such deep cavities in my life! Talk about horrible breath too."

"No kidding," replies Etna, standing alongside Flonne at the Foot of the throne, "that's why I play with spears instead of swords..."

"For once, I would have to agree with Etna," Flonne pointed her finger upwards, a habit made to prove a point, "I couldn't possibly use anything other then magic if I had to stand next to Laharl."

"Shut up, all of you!" Laharl grunted, "I'm proud to say that I haven't brushed my teeth in my entire life."

"Yep, You definitely have to go to the dentist, and I mean DEFINITELY!! In all my fifteen-hundred years I haven't seen a mouth look so bad," Our netherworld doctor took out her cell phone, "rather sad really, I'll have to call my sister to schedule an emergancy appointmen--"

Laharl ripped the phone out of her hand, "No, I'm not going to a dentist," he flipped the cell phone close, and tossed it back to her.

"Prince," Kekejina crossed her arms again, "You're already eleven-hundred years too late... I'm tellin' you, its gonna be worst if you postpone it any longer--"

"No!! I don't need a dentist, and I will never need one! I'm Laharl, supreme ruler of the NetherWorld!!!" The fires of hell streamed up to the ceiling, "HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA, and a mere tooth ache will not stand in my way."

"But prince," Etna intervined, "How do you ever expect your subjects to respect you if you have rotten teeth?"

"SHUT UP!" A rumble came from the overlord's voice, "You sound like my old man, always telling me that 'good teeth makes a good king.'"

"Well, you're definitely not a good king."

"I am not going to the dentist, and that's that!"

Kekejina clapped, and from the entrance two very monsterous dragons appear, one with horns rivaling the tallest demon in the netherworld and flaming arms and legs of a blue hue-- a hue that hadn't looked so terrifying any place else. this dragon must have been about sixteen feet high, his muzzle many inchs long with unfathomable steel-ripping teeth and well grown claws. It stood on two legs like a humanoid.

The other dragon was either purple or black-- you couldn't tell, as many markings and runes were present on its body. Involuntarily he(or she?) breathed out cracklings of violet-red flames, but an errie noise of suffering souls could be heard everytime he exhaled, not to mention the foul menacing aura of dead spirits it radiated from its body. It had blood shot eyes, and hanging over its eyelids were dried blood--or perhaps just paint, no one could tell... No one dared asked.

"What're you trying to pull here?" Laharl knew what was coming to him, he didn't even have to tell Chakura, master of the Eternal fist, to present him with his legendary Cosmic Blade.

"I'm sorry Laharl, i'm only doing this for your own good... prince" Kekejina respond, though rather too anxious as she pulled out her butcher's knife.

* * *

Evidently, Laharl lost. 

Flonne and Etna were cought dragging him all the way to the front door.

"Don't worry Prince... The dentist isn't bad at all," Etna 'accidentily' dropped Laharl on the floor and proceeded to ring the doorbell.

"Have you ever been to the dentist before...?" Laharls voice coward and whimpered.

"Plenty of times prince," a glint snapped in her eyes and years of mischievousness shined in her smile, all of which was facing the door. Something was definitely on her mind.

"Really?"

"Yea," she turned to show a smile of reasurrance.

"...I don't believe you."

Etna put her hands on her two-inch hips ready to nag, "Tch...well fine! Go in there and experince hell for all I care. But when your subjects turn on you, dont come cryin' to me because I'll be the one to put the knife in your back. Then I'll be the next overlord because of my beautiful teeth."

"Dream on..." Etna looked like a fool to Laharl, "demons don't care about teeth, they care about power. You're crazy..."

"You'd be surprised," commented Flonne.

The doors opened with a creek, in its own whim it savored the ghastly noise, with howling winds sounding of the hollow belchings heard inside caves, "Meeeeet, yooooour, dooooooom..."

Etna snuck behind Laharl and hitched her hands on his shoulders, leaning her face next to Laharl's fright, "Lets see if you have what it takes to be a real overlord," she dared to whisper in his ear.

"Bring it on," Laharl said with a gleaming smile of confidence to the doors of hell.

* * *

--"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" 

From the receptionist waiting room, patients sit idly by, watching the clock's second hand turn in order to slow down the lakestreams of time, as their moment of martyrization draws inevitably near.

--"OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Gruesome screams are heard in every tune, and as the trio walk in, the doors of hell close tightly to seal their doom.

--"AaRrRRrRRrrgghhhhh!!!"

Drills and the buzzing sounds of flies and bees can be heard from the hellish corridors of Dentistry. Ghastly ghouls in blood-stained aprons come and go in and out of the hellish dentistry hall, with buckets of fresh teeth ready to be dumped away, And as every second passes in this place of astonishing hellistic nature, we find our King, our brilliant and outstanding Overlord, to be in a state never seen before by his people(and fans), cowarding and sweaty with fear, a pathetic stance for an Overlord to watch, to the extent that, when seeing him, you can't help but shake your head and say, "what a pitiful man," If you had never known him. Not even Etna could look at him with dignity now(not that she ever did), and if this was her vile wish to begin with, then let her demonic soul become damned by the holy waters of celestia and cursed with the eternal love of its Angels.

--"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Etna... Y-you said it would be alright!" Laharl's eyes panicked amongst the sound of agony, not to mention the ominous buzzing of flies.

--"ERRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!"

"Oh did I? Well it Has been twelve-hundred years since I've been to the dentist-- or was it Thirteen?"

"Twelve Hundred?!"

--"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"But it looks like it hasn't changed at all either way," Etna tasted the fear eminating from Laharls skin, "Hasn't changed abit."

--"AaRrRRrRRrrgghhhhh!!!"

"Mr.Sandman, please come in," said the loud speaker. Everyone looked around to see who was Mr.Sandman, as no one stood up to be judged.

Time lingered on...

"Mr.Sandman, please report to your doo-- to your dentistry room..." the announcement creeked eerily. Still, no one budged or bravely walked to the doors leading to the dentistry corridor.

--"OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Mr.Sandman..." Said the announcement once more, before the doors of the dentistry Halls slowly parted. Outleeked red mist, souls of the forsakened, and the presence of a soul reaper, cloaked in the armor of dentistry, cracked teeth, and gums dangling on his bib—to which was practically red. The buzzing of flies grew ten times louder, the screams and cries of patients could be heard evermore, and the throbbing of hearts could be heard scowling through the corridors.

"Mr.Sandman..." Said the Ghoulish Nightmare, cracklingly, grisly, and terrifyingly slow, tenderizing the two gigantic red-stained butcher knifes in his hands, making a clinging sound everytime they hit against each other.

"Naw, naw man, I can't deal with this no more, I'll reschedule for next week!" A fat, Dark, pointy-eyed demon broke in tension, darting for the exit of freedom, until the only exit turned into chattering dragon Fangs, ready to rip him open with its perfectly shaped teeth.

Now no one could escape.

"Your insurance has already covered for the procedure... Mr.Sandman," said again, the ghouling dentist doctor, wiping the blood off his two butcher knifes.

Hands seeped through the floors and grabbed his feet, forcefully walking him to his damnation.

"MWAHAHAHAHA, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA,"the doors shutted! Laharl took his feet from the floors.

"He has a better laugh then you prince," replied Etna.

"S-Shut up! No he doesn't," It was bothersome to see our great Overlord cuddling in between his legs, shaking tremors in his seat.

"Awww...don't worry Laharl, it'll be alright."

--"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Says you... You haven't been to a dentist in the netherworld. I bet you haven't even gotten a cavity in your entire life."

"No," Flonne smiled and stuck her finger up, "angels don't get cavities."

Laharl popped his head up from his thighs to join Etna in looking at Flonne with dumbfoundedness, both saying, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am. Nor do we have to go to the bathroom either."

Both demon and wussy overlord dropped their mouths in astonishment, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Laharl's eyes grew red with anger.

Flonne retaliated, "Y-, yes..."

"I knew it!" Etna snapped her fingers, "That explains alot, you told me angels DID go to the bathroom."

"No I didn't," Flonne retaliated.

"YES, you did..."

"I did?" Flonne jerked her head in question.

"That's more then I ever wanted to know," Laharl said.

The announcement speaker sizzled with static, following a dastard ear-pinching sonic sound. Everyone grew quiet again, wondering who would be the next victim. Will it be the scared pumpkin head? The frightened Werewolf? The former terror-demon from Iviore? Or will it be the overlord?

Everyone speculated, as it seemed nothing could be heard from the loud speaker; silence. It was purposely taunting them, feeding off of their misery at the gamble of who would become the next specimen.

Then finally... "Will Laharl Krichevskoy please report to your doom-- I mean to the dentistry room."

Laharl's antennae hair stood as tall as it possibly could, "...I'm not going," said the Overlord.

"If you don't go in there," Etna stomped, "Then I will NEVER CONSIDER YOU AS AN OVERLORD," Etna blasted, "Prince!"

_Prince,_ It rang through Laharl's mind.

The loud speaker cried again, "Laharl Krichevskoy please----" Static rang throughout the session of the loud speaker's presence... then, awkwardly, it turned off. Laharl looked up at the microphone box, "I wonder what's going on?"

Flonne pondered, "Maybe you don't have to go anymore."

"I doubt it," Etna intervined, "The dentist office has NEVER let a patient go, so don't get your hopes high," Etna smiled, sort of like Flonne's smile, "Especially not with your breath prince."

A beaming sound ignited from the loud speaker... the voice present was not the same one as before...

"King Kirchevskoy, please report to the Doctor's office at the end of the hallway," Immediately the announcement clicked off.

"That doesn't sound too good," replied Etna.

With her strength, Flonne seeked to comfort Laharl in one final attempt, "Don't worry Laharl, with the power of love--"

A phenomenal explosion of teeth bombarded the waiting room as the doors flung open with unmeasurable force, there stood a doctor-- but no ordinary doctor as everyone had clearly seen. His height, immeasurable; his bulky build unweighable; His existance, incomprehensible. He had seventeen doctorate degrees and thirty-two master's degrees; a dentist supremely terrifying then the rest.

The presence of shock was enough to make him instantly reflex out of his seat,"Who the hell is this guy?!"

One would find the inscriptions on his nametag to say: Baal, Doctor of terror, "Time for your check-up."

"That would be your scheduled tooth-drawer," Etna said, wiping away any traces of involvement left on her fingers.

"Him?! Are you crazy?!!" Laharl gulped, he'd never faced something so sinister in his time of overlordship, but he had to stay his ground, for an overlord could not back down from his (second)worst fear, he must fear nothing. He gulped again, reciting to himself, "I-I am Laharl... O-overlord... of the world..."

Pitiful. Laharl looked around the room to see some of his victimized subjects shaking their head. Was THIS the overlord they feared, they followed? Was this the overlord we loved? A man who couldn't even get his teeth fixed? A man nothing more then a shell of his former being. He definitely was Laharl, supreme Overlord of sympathy, as he himself deserved some. He'd be a prince for the rest of his days.

_Prince!_ It rang through his mind again. He was no prince, he stuck his arm and leg out to become Overlord. Why should he be afraid?

"Don't be afraid Laharl," replied Flonne, "you can conquer anything you put your mind too. Remember, you have friends and love by your side, and when the power of love is—"

--"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

--"OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

--"ERRRRR-RrRrrRrRRGH!!!"

Etna gave her a pathetic sympathy face, "Just give it up Flonne."

Hands once again seeped from the floors, grabbing his ankles, but Laharl ripped them off! "Get off me!!"

The hands sunk into the floors. In their place were summonings of ghoulish dentist majors with a creative assortment of tools and screechy flaming voices, "You can't escape."

"I don't WANT to escape," Infernal stars streamed from Laharl's hands, hanging stagnant in the air to pick out their exclusive target, "Bite the dust!" divinely navigated, each writhing mini nova collided with a menacing doctor, causing blinding light to occur. When the light subsides, Laharl stands with his arms crossed, face-to-face with the Dentist of Terror, "I AM Laharl! SUPREME(!!) OVERLORD OF THE NETHERWORLD!! NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY," a smile of confidence stretched as far as the horizon could see, "Hmhmhmm..." Limitless power surrounded his braveheart and unfathomable terror filled his entire being, "HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA," Laharl once again became the great and terrible Overlord we all loved and feared.

And so he walked in to meet his fate.

"Wait..." Laharl paused, his foot an decimeter above the marble tiles of the corridor, "It wasn't that nonsense about love you keep talking about, that made me change my mind," Laharl grunted, "Dont go getting happy," He side-stepped, turning around epically with the passion of a hero.

"It wasn't?" Flonne replied, questioning what it could've been.

"No! Ya damn Love Freak! It was Etna," He crossed his arms and looked her square in the eye, "You were right... How could I ever be a successful overlord if I'm too afraid to get my teeth fixed? Thanks, Etna."

"No problem... prince," said Etna, delighted, maybe perhaps feeling alittle warmth too.

"Hmhmhmm" Laharl carved a grand smile across his face, showing the guck and grime in and out of his endless cavities. "When I get back, I want you to call me OVERLORD for now on. Or King Laharl, or all-mighty Laharl..."

"Lord of Lords, King of Kings, just go already!" Etna said, "Prove to me you have what it takes to become a king worthy of the late King krichevskoy's throne."

Laharl turned around to see the previous tooth-drawer gone. He knew he was waiting in the doctor's office at the end of the dentistry corridor. The Hall seemed to be endless, and as Laharl took his first step, he was drawn in by an unknown force, with the doors shutting behind him.

"...Nice knowing ya, prince," said Etna, making her way to the exit.

"Wait Etna, where are you going?" Replied Flonne.

The flat-chested beauty queen giggled seductively, "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to claim the title as Overlord. Laharl wouldn't survive five minutes in there," Etna opened the door, "So are you coming or what? I'll make you a personal assistant if you come with me, Flonne-chan."

"Uuhhh, no thanks," Flonne, disgusted at Etna's offer, refussed, "But don't leave..."

Flonne's voice, sqeaky and girlish, attracted Etna from the door, "Aawww, Flonne-chan, you're just so cute when you're worried," she clawed her fingers into Flonne's cheeks, "Makes me want to rip that cute face off."

"Could you let go, your hurting me Etna," Etna obliged, "If you leave now, what would Laharl think when he's done?"

"Flonne, trust me, he's not leaving this place alive. Especially not with the dentist he's got," For once, Etna took pity on someone, a nature unlike hers. She sighed, "Oooookay, I'll stay, hearing the prince cry would be the greatest final memory to have of him anyway."

"Thank you Etna," Flonne angelized her beautiful smile, "Watch, you'll see. Laharl will come back to us."She became fervor-rushed, "With faith and love by his side, he can overcome anything—even if we aren't there to support him. But lets cheer for Laharl from here, because I know he can do it, I know he'll come back. Go! Go!! GO Laharl!!!"

Etna, laughing secretly at Flonne's debauchery of love and kindness, looked her up and down, thinking she was the most screwiest and the most nuttiest Fallen Angel she had ever seen, "Sure Flonne. You just keep living in La-la land."

* * *

Yes, Etna was right, Laharl cried out in writhing tears, facing one of his most loathesome fears, as the doctor prepared every gadget and utensil a doctor would ever use in their lifetime. 

The doctor of terror began by taking X-rays and making records, "So how long have you been an overlord," asked he, the doctor of terror.

"What's it to you?"

Terrible Baal revved up a chainsaw, "It looks like I have to give you a root canal."

Sparks flew and Laharl whined yet again in his boyish tone, "Don't you at least have an anesthetic?!"

"No," the doctor of terror shouted, before settling the chainsaw, "This is the netherworld, not celestia," He revved up the chainsaw again, for its gnawing teeth was seeking bloodlust.

"Aaaaaaaargghh..." cried Laharl as the chainsaw fangs dulled and ripped apart, "Is that it?"

"I haven't even begun..."

An assist prinny dragged in a lumpy overloaded bag, torn up with needles and various knifes. The prinny tripped, panting from exhaustion.

The Dentist of Terror placed a chisel in between his lower incissors, "I'm gonna have to split your jaw for this to work... get ready," he dropped his hammer once, directly on the chisel, which indeed caused Laharl's jaw to split in two, then again to open the fissure completely.

"Just as I thought, your gums are blacker then night... blacker then darkness... blacker then..." He reached for a saw, slitting his gums like a log, "Let me just seperate this here..." He ripped one part of Laharl's lower mouth off, "do you see this?"

"Yea...wha'd aboudit?"

He brought it closer to Laharl's eye's to see, "This part of your gum is so black, its invested with roaches and spiders. That means about twenty percent of the food you eat isn't getting to your stomach."

Laharl gasped the best way he could, "No..."

"Yes, I'll just put this over here..." Baal placed the lower-right part of Laharl's gums on a stove, to which it was heated up and electrified, "That will massacre the bugs and germs infesting it."

Safe to say, no other part of Laharl's gums were TOO black, therefore not needing a removal.

"This isn't bad at all," said Laharl, confident.

"Not bad you say...?" Baal huffed, sticking a long acid-baring needle in his other lower jaw, "Your father nearly ran out on me... right around this point," Spikes protruded from Laharl's gums, causing Laharl to yelp momentarily.

"My old man? He had bad teeth too?"

"Aw yea, he had everything from Angelic inflamingitis(don't ask me how) to demonic tooth ruptures. Must've excreted severals times before he came in. And then he would jump out of the chair with his tail between his legs and run away at every chance he got." Baal started up his drill of doom, "So much cryin' and whinin', I had to refer him to celestia because he wouldn't continue on without any painkillers."

"HAHAHAHA," Come to find out Laharl was in the same position his father was in, Laharl would've never thought in a thousand years that his father had tooth decay, "Ya hear that, Ya wuss?" More over, he was handling it one-better then the late King Krichevskoy himself, "Wait until Etna hears about this."

"But you... you're definitely more spine-handling then your father was, more worthy of overlordship, " Baal chopped his mouth to a disarray with a nasty axe, "Hell, I was gonna take his title if he squirmed any longer"

"Hmph... no wonder he always had such good teeth."

"...And he never came back again," The Doctor of profound terror put a sponge in Laharl's mouth to absorb the fountain of blood gushing outwards, "He vowed he'd always keep a good set a teeth."

"tch...'A good set of teeth makes a good king,' the fool. That wasn't the case at all, he was just afraid. This isn't bad at all, what a punk!"

Surpassing his father, Laharl went through Baal's entire procedure without cracking up once. From flamethrowers to sledge hammers to pesticide to utensils no one would even think of, Laharl survived it all.

In the waiting lobby, Flonne is unsettled and nerve wrecked, chattering on her fingers and antsying all around the waiting lobby. Etna is sitting on a prinny, while stabbing its butt with short knifes, bored out of her mind because she knows Laharl will never make it at all. All this goes on until the doors rip away with infernal fury; the heatwave is too unbearable for Etna's eyes to see without being covered, she sees nothing but a mere shadow, "L-...Laharl?"

The blasted door covers Flonne entirely, impounded on a wall, she muffles her words, but they're far from understanding.

As the atmosphere cool down, Etna stands up and slowly uncovers her eyes, "Laharl... is it you...?"

And thereby Laharl comes out... as the Supreme Overlord of Terror.

"Well I'll be," said Etna.


End file.
